Monday, July 29, 2013

A Baby is on the way!- Chapter 6

"Weeks? How could it have been weeks?"

"I don't know, it's time travel. It doesn't work the same as regular time."

"What happened while I was gone?"

"You're parents are worried sick about you, your grandparents are worried sick about them and everyone else is still searching for you. They all think you're dead."

"I'm fine...I was in Bridgeport. I helped my dad find me when I was lost years ago."

Spencer looked at me like I was nuts. He of all people should understand my time traveling because he is the only one who has actually seen it happen and he is the one who spent hours upon hours trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I   grabbed his hands and assured him that everything was fine and I would be fine. I then stood up on my wobbly feet and  stumbled into my bedroom for a long nap.
 I walked around the pavement on the lot of what would soon be our new home. Spencer stood nearby watching me closely. It's been awhile since I've fallen but he still likes to keep close just in case I do. My hair was pinned back and my clothes were covered in paint from my newest hobby to keep me busy and in the house.

"It's going to be perfect. Perfect size for the three of us."
Spencer rested his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed. I turned toward him and he placed his other hand on my belly.
"Can you believe that we're starting a family?"
"I know, it's crazy. My parents are going to freak when they find out."
"We'll have to tell them sooner or later."
I leaned in to peck him on the cheek. "We can tell them today if you want?"


Since I got back from Bridgeport, things have been changed. We sold the apartment and I have been living with my parents for the past few weeks. Spencer comes over almost daily just to keep me busy and keep me from losing my mind. About three weeks ago I stayed the night at his place because my parents wanted a night on their own. They shouldn't even be surprised when I announce that there is a baby on the way.

We all sat down for breakfast at the table in my moms house. Spencer next to me, my parents sitting side by side and my brother and sister sitting across the table. I looked at Spencer and he raised his eyebrows at me.
"Hey everyone, Spencer and I have some news!" When nobody spoke but everyone looked at me, I continued. "We're going to have a baby."
My dad looked at me with an expression that said "Why am I not surprised?" My mom was the one who started speaking first.
"You mean you're pregnant? Ande, you aren't ready for another baby. You aren't financially fit. You can barely take care yourself. You and Spencer aren't married and you don't have a house yet."

"Mom, calm down. I understand that you think I'm not strong enough yet to handle this but I swear that I am. Spencer and I have a plan. We'll have our house done by the time the baby comes and I've started selling my paintings."

"Paintings are not going to be enough to raise a child. You of all people should know that!"

"Mom! I'm doing the best I can!"

"It isn't enough. You need a real job if you are gonna be a real person. Stop being stupid!"

I stood up and pushed my chair away. Once again she was trying to control my life and I was sick of it. I stomped straight out the door.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Stranded in Bridgeport ~ Chapter 5

Spencer's question was simple but it was lost on me. I had no idea when the last time I traveled. It must have been awhile. Spencer brushed my hair out of my eyes and looked down at me. "Does this mean that your condition is gone?"
"I  really don't know, Spence. Don't you think we should do some sort of test to make sure? I mean, it could be worth our time."
"For now, we should just leave it alone and watch to see if anything happens over the next few weeks. I've been here everyday for a couple weeks now and since you're just starting to get your mobility back, we could let it be for just a bit longer."

Right as he finished his sentence, a pain shot up my leg and I sat up in pain. He grabbed my arm and stood up with a look of panic on his face. "Whats going on?!" He leaned down next to me as my leg started shaking on it's own.
"Either I'm having a seizure or I'm about to travel." I explained to him as calm as I could but the pain wouldn't go away.  He held onto my hands and told me to think about right here, right now. When nothing happened, I relaxed. He picked me up off the couch and I felt better instantly. This was where we went wrong because as I settled down into his arms, I slipped away for the first time in a year.

I woke up in the middle of Bridgeport city. The sky was light and there were only a few people in the park.  I stretched out on my back and attempted to stand up but I couldn't manage to get up. A lady who walked past scowled at me and whispered under her breath. I called out for someone to help me at least stand up. If I could get on my feet, I could walk far enough to sit down somewhere until I found myself back in my own home.

I attempted dragging myself but to no prevail. I closed my eyes and just waited until I heard a pair of footsteps running towards me.
"Ande! Oh my god I've found you!" My dads voice echoed around the park and I knew finally what time I was in. "Why are you on the ground?" I tried once again to inch myself away from him.
"Sir I don't know who you are!"
"Ande...You know me. It's dad..." I bit my lip. I needed something to get me out of this mess I was in. The clouds billowed in the sky as it began to sprinkle. It was the day years ago that my dad found me in Bridgeport. I was alone in that ally searching for some food.  It was the worst and best day of my life.

I looked up at him as his relieved look turned to confusion. "Ande, she told me you were skin and bones, covered in blood. You look fine. Are you okay?"
"Dad, I need to talk and you need to listen. I am your daughter but I'm not the one you're looking for."
"I only have two daughters and Eden is at home. And that's where you'll be soon enough!"
"Dad, I'm from the future. I'm not even sure what year it is. I swear I can prove it to you...I know where Ande is."
"So get up and show me!"
I reached my hand out to him and he pulled me up. I was very unstable but I could walk for the most part.

"What happened? How is it that you know?"
"I don't even know." I said, watching my feet so that I didn't stumble and fall on the hard sidewalk. "Pretty soon you'll discover that it started in the middle of this 'trip'. I have just a few things to tell you. Ande is really weak. There is a lot that happened and you need to make sure doctor Spencer pays a lot of attention to the scars on her back." I turned around and grabbed his shoulders. "You have to listen close now. Ande was raped multiple times. She's going to have a baby. Everything is in her diary and you'll find it all there." I turned around and began to scuffle along again.

I could hear how scared he was from the way he was breathing. He was attempting to put aside all of the things I told him about what happened to me so long ago. I tried not to give too much away because I've seen the movies about all the time travelers and things could really end up messed up if I talk to much to him. Instead, while the rain was making it hard to see and move, I took him to the ally I remember so perfectly because of its occurrence in so many of my dreams. I saw my own figure laying in that ally and as soon as he saw it too, he pointed at me and told me to stay where I was until he was sure that I was telling the complete truth.

I walked away before he got to the end of the ally. I didn't need this part of my life back in my mind. I knew that as soon as he picked me up, I would say one word and be lost to this world for months. I didn't need to see that kind of suffering now so I slowly made my way to somewhere warm. I needed something to wrap around myself to brush away the coldness but there was nothing so I stood in an empty laundry mat in nothing but my underwear while my clothes dried.

When I was finally able to put my warm clothes back on, the rain had not yet subsided. I spent almost 4 more hours in the laundry mat waiting for it to stop. It was dark by the time I was finally ready to leave. That was also about the time my legs decided to give out and I toppled on the floor hard. I tried to push myself up for an hour before I gave up and closed my eyes for a forced nap.

"Oh my god. Ande!" I heard Spencer's voice before I saw him. Before I knew it, I felt his hand on my arm, pulling me up gently. "Where have you been?"
"Bridgeport." I said into his ear as he lifted me up onto the couch. "It's only been a couple days, why do you sound so worried?"
He looked at me with question in his eyes "It's been longer then that. You've been gone for weeks."

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Something brand new ~ Chapter 4

Spencer arrived at the hospital about an hour after he said he would. I could hear him from downstairs talking to Laura, the nurse.
"Where is Ande at?" He asked her, pushing open the door to the hospital.
"I helped her into the bathroom about 20 minutes ago. She's in the tub relaxing." She sighed and sat her book down on the counter. "She's in a whole lick of pain and I thought that the water would help with that."
"Will you go help her out and dressed so I can check on her?"
"Of course. I'll let you know when she's done."

I heard Laura coming up the stairs and promptly pulled a towel from the side of the tub and wrapped it around myself. She opened the door with a whole new stack of dry, warm towels and helped me out.

About 15 minutes later I found myself in the downstairs lobby with Spencer next to me. He didn't look real great but he was overly worried about me.
"How are you feeling? Have you had much overbearing pain?"
"It was worse when I called you. It's really starting to die down."
"That's a good sign. We can probably get started with physical therapy in about a week or so. We just need enough time to be sure the pain has gone away completely."
"Thank goodness..." I sighed with relief as I laid my head back on the chair and closed my eyes as I felt more of the pain rush away from me.

~Two weeks later~

"Alright Ande." Spencer said, holding out his hand to her so that she could grab it for support. "Are you ready to walk after almost a year?"
"You have no clue!" I gushed as I grabbed his hand and he lifted me out of the chair. My feet touched the floor and only a little feeling shot up through them. Spencer did tell me how hard it was going to be to wake them up from their sleep.

"I'm going to hold onto your shoulders and you try to walk forward." He wrapped his arms around hers for extra support just in case she fell.
I took my very first step in about a year and suddenly, I yearned for more. I wanted to run and jump but I couldn't. All I could do was move a half step forward. I started to laugh as i stretched my leg out in front of me.

Spencer didn't warn me before he let go, he just did it. It was exhilarating. Putting one foot in front of the other. I finally felt free of the prison I was subjected to for so long. My body was aching for more. For more strength to push into my legs. And that's when I fell.

I fell so hard that the breath was knocked out of me. Spencer pulled me off of the ground and put me back in my chair. "I really think that's all for today, Ande. I don't want you to get hurt or excited. This is just the first step to bringing back what you had before and one day won't do that for you." He smiled shyly at me and I grabbed his hand again.
"Are you okay, Spencer?" I looked at him and felt a frown appearing on my face. "You seem really down lately."
"Eh, I've just been overly tired. I've been working double time and it's exhausting."
"Is that all? Nothing else?"
"That's really all it is."
"You always seem so...sad. Did something happen with Ella?"
"Well, if you count breaking up and then calling me a billion times  to tell me how much she hates my guts." He laughed sourly. "I don't ever pick up. I just let it ring and she rants on my voicemail."
"It sounds to me like she's the one who needs help."
"What about you, Ande. Why are you always so happy? How do you go through life with what happened and always have a smile on your face?"

 I laughed. Noting now that I almost never smile these days except when I'm around Spencer.
"You just don't see the dark side of me. When I'm with you, I remember there is a hope that I'll be normal again. That alone makes me smile." He pulled me up out of my chair again. I had little say in what happened but he hugged me so tight that I felt squished but as soon as he let me go, he pressed his lips to mine. I held back at first but then realized how good it felt and I kissed him back. I realized that this was probably just out of lonely pity for himself but I didn't care and neither did he.

The weird thing is that it actually didn't end. His presence was suddenly something I was used to every morning and every night. He never wanted to be away from me and I never wanted him to leave. We never even talked about it. It just happened and everyone on the island knew what was going on when even we didn't quite get it.

 One night while we were watching a romantic movie about a time traveler and his wife, Spencer looked at me with utter confusion and asked:
"When was the last time you traveled?"

Friday, February 22, 2013

Well that failed ~ Chapter 3


Ande's surgery started just hours after we arrived at the hospital. She was quiet as the doctors and surgeons surrounded her with clipboards and pens. They checked her vitals, asked her a few questions and then it was off the the operating room. We knew exactly what we were going to do and that was re-mobilize her spine and then put in a rod right where it was broken by the bullet. After this, we'd patch it up and then she'd go through weeks-- maybe even months -- of physical therapy get anything working again.

About two hours after the surgery was over, I made my way to the room Ande was resting in. Her anesthesia was wearing off and her eyes began to open. She moaned quietly and I got down on my knees to get to her level. I put my hands over hers and I could tell right away that she was in absolute pain. I called up nurse Laura to get some painkillers and she rushed in with the strongest stuff we had.

I got Ande back to sleep in 20 minutes, in that time she said nothing but nonsense. The drugs she was put on made her feel a little loopy but it was amazing how fast they seemed to deal with the pain. I went to my own office as soon as I was sure she wouldn't be waking up in awhile. Right as I sat on the couch, exhausted, my phone rang. Ella's voice blew up in my ear before I had even begun to say hello.
"Spencer, where the hell are you?! I've been waiting for an hour and a half!"
"Oh shit, Ella I was on call. A friend of mine had surgery and she's in a really bad state right now and the hospital needed me. I'm really sorry, I swear I'll make it up to you!"
"Well? I'm still at the diner, meet me here and hurry."
"I'm on my way!"

When I finally got to the diner at the pier, Ella was waiting with her hands on her lap. She looked upset but absolutely gorgeous in the dim light but that was the only thing about her that made me feel attracted to this woman. Her temper was like quicksand and her attitude toward any other woman that I even looked at was like a hawk circling her prey. Ande was no exception, Ella knew that Ande was my closest patient and there was no way she would tolerate that much longer.

"I thought you asking me out tonight was special! I thought you were going to ask me to marry you tonight. You made me cry waiting for you Spencer."
"I'm really sorry Ella, you have no idea the hardship I'm going through at work...I wanted tonight to be special but I'm really exhausted and it just slipped my mind."
"It just slipped your mind, of course it did. I always slip your mind! When were you planning on telling me you don't want this anymore? That girl is all you care about anymore and you have to know how that makes me feel!"

By this time she was standing, pointing at me with disgust on her face. "Ella! I care about you!"
"Then why do you only talk about Ande? All you care about is her stupid surgery or how 'Depressed' she is all the time."
"Because I'm her friend."
"I don't want this anymore if you don't want me. Go be with your precious Ande, I know she wants you too. I'll just make sure she knows you're a major dick to your girlfriends and leave them hanging without even a phone call. Good bye."

She rubbed her forehead and turned around right as my cell phone started ringing. She threw up her hands in disgust and sped up her pace as I flipped it open, recognizing the hospitals phone number.
"Spence, it's Laura. I just wanted to let you know that Ande woke up asking for you, I told her you'd be back in the morning."
"Thanks Laura. Give her her medicine, I'll be there early tomorrow."

Instead of heading home, where I should have gone, I went to McDonalds and pigged out on sandwiches and fries. Since I didn't get to eat with Ella and I needed food for this exhausting bitch of a day.

On my last batch of fries, my phone rang again. I laughed to myself thinking it was Ella calling to say that she was sorry and she wanted me back but it wasn't. The voice that came over the phone was groggy and seemed to be talking nonsense. I knew right away that it was Ande.
"Spencer, my frog is jumping away again..." she sighed into the phone tiredly. "It won't stay put."
"Ande, there is no frog. You need to go back to bed and sleep that medicine off."
"But I don't want to sleep. It's really dark in here."
"Have Laura turn on a light."
"Please come back..." I bit my lip and crumbled up the box for my sandwich.

"Give me 10 minutes."

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Ande's problem ~ Chapter 2

The house was lonely without children running about asking me for breakfast or getting ready for school. I wished that I could just wake up from this bad dream I was in and have a normal life. Normal kids, normal husband, normal Ande. My life since I've been handicapped has been the same. Be woken up by Delilah and Remmi, pout as they helped me get ready to spend another horrible day in my wheelchair.

There were some days when I would lay in bed and refuse to be touched by anyone. These are the days that my entire family would gather at my house for a get together to talk about how bad I was getting. Spencer would usually join in on these sessions and knock on my door a couple times. He would say my name and then tell me that I'd be okay. But I knew better than to answer and let him into the only place I could think for real.

That one day when I had a severe depression warning hit me, Spencer had my mom and grandma in the living room and Delilah and Remmi were busy in the kitchen making breakfast. I could just hear through the thin walls what Spencer was saying to my mom. It went something like this:

"Ande isn't keeping her head up well enough for me to let her go on like this. She's depressed beyond anything else and I really need both of you to help me with something." I didn't hear what came after that but I was sure that they were planning something really stupid to try to help me feel better. I only had a week left until my 3 weeks was up and I could finally leave this depressing lifestyle.
"Do you think you can do that for me?" More silence followed and then the air filled with the smell of bacon and eggs.

A rumble of noises came from the living room before I was sure they were about to burst into my room and kidnap me. I just waited. It seemed like hours before I got too bored to wait any longer and fell asleep and that was when they finally raided.
"Ande," mom said as she was pulling open the curtains to let in a burst of sunlight. "We're going out to eat tonight and you're gonna like it." I groaned as Spencer walked in the room and picked me up off my bed. "This isn't fair." I whined.

Mom pushed into the bathroom and started up the bath and I did my best not to wiggle my way out of the uncomfortable way Spencer was holding me away from his body, as if I was some dying animal and not his paitent. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as they took the last bit of dignity I had from me and put me in the bath.

"I can take care of myself." I humphed as they poared water on my head. By this time Spencer had already left, probably embarrassed by seeing me naked. Don't worry, I was too. Mom basically treated me just like I was a child again but at this point, caring was beyond my abilities.

Being manhandled by my mom and my grandma wasn't as bad as you may think. I didn't have to do anything, which was the point of laying in bed all day and sleeping. My mom had no say on what I wore, how I did my hair, the way I did my nails. So, when I came out of the bathroom she kinda freaked on me. Grandma Della pushed her out of the room and made her calm down in the living room.

"Are you okay Ande?" Spencer came into the room and I did my best to wipe away the tears welling up in my eyes. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
I nodded and he sat down on his knees in front of me. "What is it?"
"Let me have my surgery already?"
"Ande...I'm afraid that something is going to happen..."
"Something is going to happen if I have to stay in this chair for another day longer!"
"What are you talking about?"

I bowed my head and a tear dripped down my nose.  He stared at me hard, trying to figure out what was wrong. He read the pain in my eyes, the hurt in the way I was talking and he seemed to figure out what was on my mind. "Have you been hurting yourself, Ande?"
I was suddenly ashamed of myself and what I had done. He grabbed my wrist and traced the white scars with his finger. "What were you thinking doing this?"
"I'm not sure, it just happened one day.  I was crying, I was all alone and all I wanted to do was die. I never wanted this kind of life for myself."

The look on his face was so full of anger that I thought he was about to reach up and slap me, but instead he pulled me into a hug. It was so tight that I thought I was being strangled. He lifted me up out of my chair and carried me into the living room. When mom asked what on earth was going on, Spencer simply said "We're going to the hospital."

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Freedom comes with a price ~ Chapter 1

"Sometimes, it takes awhile for a person to learn how to be who they were before. Some times you have to completely reinvent yourself." Spencer stood beside me as I sat in my wheelchair. "You don't have to be anything that you don't want to be, Ande. I know how frustrating it is to really want something but can't have it, like you and the life you really want. You can't erase your past but you can rewrite your future."

I stared at the wall, I haven't really grasped yet that my legs wont work. Spencer says that there is a possibility of repairing the damage done to them, but he said we shouldn't count on that. The surgery would take hours and reminding my legs that they work would take weeks. And the chance that it would work is one in a thousand. Spencer just doesn't see why we would take that chance.

My mom keeps urging him to just do it, but he doesn't think she really knows the risk. She's been telling me that I can't live the rest of my life in a hospital room but I just push her out of my mind when I sit there in the dark. She tries to beg me to make Spencer do the surgery and continue the 100 baby challenge but ignoring her is easier than trying to tel her no.

When I finally gave in and went home, nobody was there. All the kids were gone and I had no clue where they were. I figured they were at moms but I couldn't be sure, with all the commotion going about these past few days, I didn't even think about making sure they were all okay. I'm such a terrible mother, it's a blessing in disguise that I can no longer have children. 

All I had was myself and hopefully, a few more hours of quiet. I called my dad and found out that the kids were at their house, so I grabbed my secret stash and wheeled myself outside into the dark. Smoking felt good. I just let myself go into the way the smoke fulled my lungs and then escaped through my mouth or nose. I have never smoked before in my life...But I liked it.

No matter how many times I called mom, she never sent the kids home. I threatened to wheel myself to her house but she told me "I'm not bringing these kids back to your house. You can't even take care of yourself, so how are you going to take care of five children? I'll make sure they all grow up and move out on their own."
That was the last straw. I couldn't deal with this woman anymore. "Mom, just because I quit your fucking challenge doesn't mean that I don't love my kids. You are a psycho bitch and maybe it's YOU that needs the therapy."  I hung up in a huff and sat back in my chair. I didn't think this day could get any worse...and I was right.

It only got better. Especially, when out of nowhere...Spencer comes bounding out of the elevator.
"Ande!" He scared the crap out of me and I jumped and fell off the couch.
"Good! You're here." He picked me up and sat me back on the couch, then took a seat across from me." I have awesome news." I looked at him, waiting. "Aph just gave birth to a baby girl. You'll never guess what she named her!"
I bit my lip and didn't even attempt to guess because 5 seconds later, he said "Iris."
This made me smile because (If you didn't know) my middle name is Iris and the fact that Spencer would come all this way to deliver this news when he could have just called my cell.

"She's adorable, ha-" his phone interrupted what he was about to say with a quick three note beep. He silently apologized and flipped open the phone. "Hey Ella, I'm on my way! I had to drop off a bit of news at a friend's. I'll be there in just a few minutes!"
He hung up and shoved his phone back in his pocket. "It was Ella, we're having dinner at her parents tonight and I'm a little scared. They're strict people."
"Good luck with that." I said, maybe a little too coolly, and he just looked at me.
"Ande, I want to do your surgery. I want you to be able to walk again...But maybe we should wait until you feel a little better..."
"Spencer, my mom took my kids away and I called her a psycho bitch. I have nothing left to say to anyone, even myself."

He bit his lip and grabbed my hand. "Okay, can you spend at least 3 weeks in this wheelchair? After 3 weeks of recovery, we'll do the surgery and just pray that it's successful. That will give you just a bit of time to think about everything and kinda get used to the chair if something goes wrong."
"And if something does go wrong?"
"I could possibly kill you, Ande. I really don't want to take that risk but if you want to...I'll get a team of surgeons together and we'll do it."

I didn't really say no but I didn't really say yes. He left on "Just think about it for awhile." and I did. I thought about it from that day on until I couldn't take to think about it anymore. I no longer cared about the risk. I wanted out of this prison chair.