Friday, February 22, 2013

Well that failed ~ Chapter 3


Ande's surgery started just hours after we arrived at the hospital. She was quiet as the doctors and surgeons surrounded her with clipboards and pens. They checked her vitals, asked her a few questions and then it was off the the operating room. We knew exactly what we were going to do and that was re-mobilize her spine and then put in a rod right where it was broken by the bullet. After this, we'd patch it up and then she'd go through weeks-- maybe even months -- of physical therapy get anything working again.

About two hours after the surgery was over, I made my way to the room Ande was resting in. Her anesthesia was wearing off and her eyes began to open. She moaned quietly and I got down on my knees to get to her level. I put my hands over hers and I could tell right away that she was in absolute pain. I called up nurse Laura to get some painkillers and she rushed in with the strongest stuff we had.

I got Ande back to sleep in 20 minutes, in that time she said nothing but nonsense. The drugs she was put on made her feel a little loopy but it was amazing how fast they seemed to deal with the pain. I went to my own office as soon as I was sure she wouldn't be waking up in awhile. Right as I sat on the couch, exhausted, my phone rang. Ella's voice blew up in my ear before I had even begun to say hello.
"Spencer, where the hell are you?! I've been waiting for an hour and a half!"
"Oh shit, Ella I was on call. A friend of mine had surgery and she's in a really bad state right now and the hospital needed me. I'm really sorry, I swear I'll make it up to you!"
"Well? I'm still at the diner, meet me here and hurry."
"I'm on my way!"

When I finally got to the diner at the pier, Ella was waiting with her hands on her lap. She looked upset but absolutely gorgeous in the dim light but that was the only thing about her that made me feel attracted to this woman. Her temper was like quicksand and her attitude toward any other woman that I even looked at was like a hawk circling her prey. Ande was no exception, Ella knew that Ande was my closest patient and there was no way she would tolerate that much longer.

"I thought you asking me out tonight was special! I thought you were going to ask me to marry you tonight. You made me cry waiting for you Spencer."
"I'm really sorry Ella, you have no idea the hardship I'm going through at work...I wanted tonight to be special but I'm really exhausted and it just slipped my mind."
"It just slipped your mind, of course it did. I always slip your mind! When were you planning on telling me you don't want this anymore? That girl is all you care about anymore and you have to know how that makes me feel!"

By this time she was standing, pointing at me with disgust on her face. "Ella! I care about you!"
"Then why do you only talk about Ande? All you care about is her stupid surgery or how 'Depressed' she is all the time."
"Because I'm her friend."
"I don't want this anymore if you don't want me. Go be with your precious Ande, I know she wants you too. I'll just make sure she knows you're a major dick to your girlfriends and leave them hanging without even a phone call. Good bye."

She rubbed her forehead and turned around right as my cell phone started ringing. She threw up her hands in disgust and sped up her pace as I flipped it open, recognizing the hospitals phone number.
"Spence, it's Laura. I just wanted to let you know that Ande woke up asking for you, I told her you'd be back in the morning."
"Thanks Laura. Give her her medicine, I'll be there early tomorrow."

Instead of heading home, where I should have gone, I went to McDonalds and pigged out on sandwiches and fries. Since I didn't get to eat with Ella and I needed food for this exhausting bitch of a day.

On my last batch of fries, my phone rang again. I laughed to myself thinking it was Ella calling to say that she was sorry and she wanted me back but it wasn't. The voice that came over the phone was groggy and seemed to be talking nonsense. I knew right away that it was Ande.
"Spencer, my frog is jumping away again..." she sighed into the phone tiredly. "It won't stay put."
"Ande, there is no frog. You need to go back to bed and sleep that medicine off."
"But I don't want to sleep. It's really dark in here."
"Have Laura turn on a light."
"Please come back..." I bit my lip and crumbled up the box for my sandwich.

"Give me 10 minutes."

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Ande's problem ~ Chapter 2

The house was lonely without children running about asking me for breakfast or getting ready for school. I wished that I could just wake up from this bad dream I was in and have a normal life. Normal kids, normal husband, normal Ande. My life since I've been handicapped has been the same. Be woken up by Delilah and Remmi, pout as they helped me get ready to spend another horrible day in my wheelchair.

There were some days when I would lay in bed and refuse to be touched by anyone. These are the days that my entire family would gather at my house for a get together to talk about how bad I was getting. Spencer would usually join in on these sessions and knock on my door a couple times. He would say my name and then tell me that I'd be okay. But I knew better than to answer and let him into the only place I could think for real.

That one day when I had a severe depression warning hit me, Spencer had my mom and grandma in the living room and Delilah and Remmi were busy in the kitchen making breakfast. I could just hear through the thin walls what Spencer was saying to my mom. It went something like this:

"Ande isn't keeping her head up well enough for me to let her go on like this. She's depressed beyond anything else and I really need both of you to help me with something." I didn't hear what came after that but I was sure that they were planning something really stupid to try to help me feel better. I only had a week left until my 3 weeks was up and I could finally leave this depressing lifestyle.
"Do you think you can do that for me?" More silence followed and then the air filled with the smell of bacon and eggs.

A rumble of noises came from the living room before I was sure they were about to burst into my room and kidnap me. I just waited. It seemed like hours before I got too bored to wait any longer and fell asleep and that was when they finally raided.
"Ande," mom said as she was pulling open the curtains to let in a burst of sunlight. "We're going out to eat tonight and you're gonna like it." I groaned as Spencer walked in the room and picked me up off my bed. "This isn't fair." I whined.

Mom pushed into the bathroom and started up the bath and I did my best not to wiggle my way out of the uncomfortable way Spencer was holding me away from his body, as if I was some dying animal and not his paitent. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as they took the last bit of dignity I had from me and put me in the bath.

"I can take care of myself." I humphed as they poared water on my head. By this time Spencer had already left, probably embarrassed by seeing me naked. Don't worry, I was too. Mom basically treated me just like I was a child again but at this point, caring was beyond my abilities.

Being manhandled by my mom and my grandma wasn't as bad as you may think. I didn't have to do anything, which was the point of laying in bed all day and sleeping. My mom had no say on what I wore, how I did my hair, the way I did my nails. So, when I came out of the bathroom she kinda freaked on me. Grandma Della pushed her out of the room and made her calm down in the living room.

"Are you okay Ande?" Spencer came into the room and I did my best to wipe away the tears welling up in my eyes. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
I nodded and he sat down on his knees in front of me. "What is it?"
"Let me have my surgery already?"
"Ande...I'm afraid that something is going to happen..."
"Something is going to happen if I have to stay in this chair for another day longer!"
"What are you talking about?"

I bowed my head and a tear dripped down my nose.  He stared at me hard, trying to figure out what was wrong. He read the pain in my eyes, the hurt in the way I was talking and he seemed to figure out what was on my mind. "Have you been hurting yourself, Ande?"
I was suddenly ashamed of myself and what I had done. He grabbed my wrist and traced the white scars with his finger. "What were you thinking doing this?"
"I'm not sure, it just happened one day.  I was crying, I was all alone and all I wanted to do was die. I never wanted this kind of life for myself."

The look on his face was so full of anger that I thought he was about to reach up and slap me, but instead he pulled me into a hug. It was so tight that I thought I was being strangled. He lifted me up out of my chair and carried me into the living room. When mom asked what on earth was going on, Spencer simply said "We're going to the hospital."