Ande's problem ~ Chapter 2

The house was lonely without children running about asking me for breakfast or getting ready for school. I wished that I could just wake up from this bad dream I was in and have a normal life. Normal kids, normal husband, normal Ande. My life since I've been handicapped has been the same. Be woken up by Delilah and Remmi, pout as they helped me get ready to spend another horrible day in my wheelchair.

There were some days when I would lay in bed and refuse to be touched by anyone. These are the days that my entire family would gather at my house for a get together to talk about how bad I was getting. Spencer would usually join in on these sessions and knock on my door a couple times. He would say my name and then tell me that I'd be okay. But I knew better than to answer and let him into the only place I could think for real.

That one day when I had a severe depression warning hit me, Spencer had my mom and grandma in the living room and Delilah and Remmi were busy in the kitchen making breakfast. I could just hear through the thin walls what Spencer was saying to my mom. It went something like this:

"Ande isn't keeping her head up well enough for me to let her go on like this. She's depressed beyond anything else and I really need both of you to help me with something." I didn't hear what came after that but I was sure that they were planning something really stupid to try to help me feel better. I only had a week left until my 3 weeks was up and I could finally leave this depressing lifestyle.
"Do you think you can do that for me?" More silence followed and then the air filled with the smell of bacon and eggs.

A rumble of noises came from the living room before I was sure they were about to burst into my room and kidnap me. I just waited. It seemed like hours before I got too bored to wait any longer and fell asleep and that was when they finally raided.
"Ande," mom said as she was pulling open the curtains to let in a burst of sunlight. "We're going out to eat tonight and you're gonna like it." I groaned as Spencer walked in the room and picked me up off my bed. "This isn't fair." I whined.

Mom pushed into the bathroom and started up the bath and I did my best not to wiggle my way out of the uncomfortable way Spencer was holding me away from his body, as if I was some dying animal and not his paitent. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as they took the last bit of dignity I had from me and put me in the bath.

"I can take care of myself." I humphed as they poared water on my head. By this time Spencer had already left, probably embarrassed by seeing me naked. Don't worry, I was too. Mom basically treated me just like I was a child again but at this point, caring was beyond my abilities.

Being manhandled by my mom and my grandma wasn't as bad as you may think. I didn't have to do anything, which was the point of laying in bed all day and sleeping. My mom had no say on what I wore, how I did my hair, the way I did my nails. So, when I came out of the bathroom she kinda freaked on me. Grandma Della pushed her out of the room and made her calm down in the living room.

"Are you okay Ande?" Spencer came into the room and I did my best to wipe away the tears welling up in my eyes. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
I nodded and he sat down on his knees in front of me. "What is it?"
"Let me have my surgery already?"
"Ande...I'm afraid that something is going to happen..."
"Something is going to happen if I have to stay in this chair for another day longer!"
"What are you talking about?"

I bowed my head and a tear dripped down my nose.  He stared at me hard, trying to figure out what was wrong. He read the pain in my eyes, the hurt in the way I was talking and he seemed to figure out what was on my mind. "Have you been hurting yourself, Ande?"
I was suddenly ashamed of myself and what I had done. He grabbed my wrist and traced the white scars with his finger. "What were you thinking doing this?"
"I'm not sure, it just happened one day.  I was crying, I was all alone and all I wanted to do was die. I never wanted this kind of life for myself."

The look on his face was so full of anger that I thought he was about to reach up and slap me, but instead he pulled me into a hug. It was so tight that I thought I was being strangled. He lifted me up out of my chair and carried me into the living room. When mom asked what on earth was going on, Spencer simply said "We're going to the hospital."