Something brand new ~ Chapter 4

Spencer arrived at the hospital about an hour after he said he would. I could hear him from downstairs talking to Laura, the nurse.
"Where is Ande at?" He asked her, pushing open the door to the hospital.
"I helped her into the bathroom about 20 minutes ago. She's in the tub relaxing." She sighed and sat her book down on the counter. "She's in a whole lick of pain and I thought that the water would help with that."
"Will you go help her out and dressed so I can check on her?"
"Of course. I'll let you know when she's done."

I heard Laura coming up the stairs and promptly pulled a towel from the side of the tub and wrapped it around myself. She opened the door with a whole new stack of dry, warm towels and helped me out.

About 15 minutes later I found myself in the downstairs lobby with Spencer next to me. He didn't look real great but he was overly worried about me.
"How are you feeling? Have you had much overbearing pain?"
"It was worse when I called you. It's really starting to die down."
"That's a good sign. We can probably get started with physical therapy in about a week or so. We just need enough time to be sure the pain has gone away completely."
"Thank goodness..." I sighed with relief as I laid my head back on the chair and closed my eyes as I felt more of the pain rush away from me.

~Two weeks later~

"Alright Ande." Spencer said, holding out his hand to her so that she could grab it for support. "Are you ready to walk after almost a year?"
"You have no clue!" I gushed as I grabbed his hand and he lifted me out of the chair. My feet touched the floor and only a little feeling shot up through them. Spencer did tell me how hard it was going to be to wake them up from their sleep.

"I'm going to hold onto your shoulders and you try to walk forward." He wrapped his arms around hers for extra support just in case she fell.
I took my very first step in about a year and suddenly, I yearned for more. I wanted to run and jump but I couldn't. All I could do was move a half step forward. I started to laugh as i stretched my leg out in front of me.

Spencer didn't warn me before he let go, he just did it. It was exhilarating. Putting one foot in front of the other. I finally felt free of the prison I was subjected to for so long. My body was aching for more. For more strength to push into my legs. And that's when I fell.

I fell so hard that the breath was knocked out of me. Spencer pulled me off of the ground and put me back in my chair. "I really think that's all for today, Ande. I don't want you to get hurt or excited. This is just the first step to bringing back what you had before and one day won't do that for you." He smiled shyly at me and I grabbed his hand again.
"Are you okay, Spencer?" I looked at him and felt a frown appearing on my face. "You seem really down lately."
"Eh, I've just been overly tired. I've been working double time and it's exhausting."
"Is that all? Nothing else?"
"That's really all it is."
"You always seem so...sad. Did something happen with Ella?"
"Well, if you count breaking up and then calling me a billion times  to tell me how much she hates my guts." He laughed sourly. "I don't ever pick up. I just let it ring and she rants on my voicemail."
"It sounds to me like she's the one who needs help."
"What about you, Ande. Why are you always so happy? How do you go through life with what happened and always have a smile on your face?"

 I laughed. Noting now that I almost never smile these days except when I'm around Spencer.
"You just don't see the dark side of me. When I'm with you, I remember there is a hope that I'll be normal again. That alone makes me smile." He pulled me up out of my chair again. I had little say in what happened but he hugged me so tight that I felt squished but as soon as he let me go, he pressed his lips to mine. I held back at first but then realized how good it felt and I kissed him back. I realized that this was probably just out of lonely pity for himself but I didn't care and neither did he.

The weird thing is that it actually didn't end. His presence was suddenly something I was used to every morning and every night. He never wanted to be away from me and I never wanted him to leave. We never even talked about it. It just happened and everyone on the island knew what was going on when even we didn't quite get it.

 One night while we were watching a romantic movie about a time traveler and his wife, Spencer looked at me with utter confusion and asked:
"When was the last time you traveled?"

Well that failed ~ Chapter 3

*Spencer*

Ande's surgery started just hours after we arrived at the hospital. She was quiet as the doctors and surgeons surrounded her with clipboards and pens. They checked her vitals, asked her a few questions and then it was off the the operating room. We knew exactly what we were going to do and that was re-mobilize her spine and then put in a rod right where it was broken by the bullet. After this, we'd patch it up and then she'd go through weeks-- maybe even months -- of physical therapy get anything working again.

About two hours after the surgery was over, I made my way to the room Ande was resting in. Her anesthesia was wearing off and her eyes began to open. She moaned quietly and I got down on my knees to get to her level. I put my hands over hers and I could tell right away that she was in absolute pain. I called up nurse Laura to get some painkillers and she rushed in with the strongest stuff we had.

I got Ande back to sleep in 20 minutes, in that time she said nothing but nonsense. The drugs she was put on made her feel a little loopy but it was amazing how fast they seemed to deal with the pain. I went to my own office as soon as I was sure she wouldn't be waking up in awhile. Right as I sat on the couch, exhausted, my phone rang. Ella's voice blew up in my ear before I had even begun to say hello.
"Spencer, where the hell are you?! I've been waiting for an hour and a half!"
"Oh shit, Ella I was on call. A friend of mine had surgery and she's in a really bad state right now and the hospital needed me. I'm really sorry, I swear I'll make it up to you!"
"Well? I'm still at the diner, meet me here and hurry."
"I'm on my way!"

When I finally got to the diner at the pier, Ella was waiting with her hands on her lap. She looked upset but absolutely gorgeous in the dim light but that was the only thing about her that made me feel attracted to this woman. Her temper was like quicksand and her attitude toward any other woman that I even looked at was like a hawk circling her prey. Ande was no exception, Ella knew that Ande was my closest patient and there was no way she would tolerate that much longer.

"I thought you asking me out tonight was special! I thought you were going to ask me to marry you tonight. You made me cry waiting for you Spencer."
"I'm really sorry Ella, you have no idea the hardship I'm going through at work...I wanted tonight to be special but I'm really exhausted and it just slipped my mind."
"It just slipped your mind, of course it did. I always slip your mind! When were you planning on telling me you don't want this anymore? That girl is all you care about anymore and you have to know how that makes me feel!"

By this time she was standing, pointing at me with disgust on her face. "Ella! I care about you!"
"Then why do you only talk about Ande? All you care about is her stupid surgery or how 'Depressed' she is all the time."
"Because I'm her friend."
"I don't want this anymore if you don't want me. Go be with your precious Ande, I know she wants you too. I'll just make sure she knows you're a major dick to your girlfriends and leave them hanging without even a phone call. Good bye."

She rubbed her forehead and turned around right as my cell phone started ringing. She threw up her hands in disgust and sped up her pace as I flipped it open, recognizing the hospitals phone number.
"Spence, it's Laura. I just wanted to let you know that Ande woke up asking for you, I told her you'd be back in the morning."
"Thanks Laura. Give her her medicine, I'll be there early tomorrow."

Instead of heading home, where I should have gone, I went to McDonalds and pigged out on sandwiches and fries. Since I didn't get to eat with Ella and I needed food for this exhausting bitch of a day.

On my last batch of fries, my phone rang again. I laughed to myself thinking it was Ella calling to say that she was sorry and she wanted me back but it wasn't. The voice that came over the phone was groggy and seemed to be talking nonsense. I knew right away that it was Ande.
"Spencer, my frog is jumping away again..." she sighed into the phone tiredly. "It won't stay put."
"Ande, there is no frog. You need to go back to bed and sleep that medicine off."
"But I don't want to sleep. It's really dark in here."
"Have Laura turn on a light."
"Please come back..." I bit my lip and crumbled up the box for my sandwich.

"Give me 10 minutes."

Ande's problem ~ Chapter 2

The house was lonely without children running about asking me for breakfast or getting ready for school. I wished that I could just wake up from this bad dream I was in and have a normal life. Normal kids, normal husband, normal Ande. My life since I've been handicapped has been the same. Be woken up by Delilah and Remmi, pout as they helped me get ready to spend another horrible day in my wheelchair.

There were some days when I would lay in bed and refuse to be touched by anyone. These are the days that my entire family would gather at my house for a get together to talk about how bad I was getting. Spencer would usually join in on these sessions and knock on my door a couple times. He would say my name and then tell me that I'd be okay. But I knew better than to answer and let him into the only place I could think for real.

That one day when I had a severe depression warning hit me, Spencer had my mom and grandma in the living room and Delilah and Remmi were busy in the kitchen making breakfast. I could just hear through the thin walls what Spencer was saying to my mom. It went something like this:

"Ande isn't keeping her head up well enough for me to let her go on like this. She's depressed beyond anything else and I really need both of you to help me with something." I didn't hear what came after that but I was sure that they were planning something really stupid to try to help me feel better. I only had a week left until my 3 weeks was up and I could finally leave this depressing lifestyle.
"Do you think you can do that for me?" More silence followed and then the air filled with the smell of bacon and eggs.

A rumble of noises came from the living room before I was sure they were about to burst into my room and kidnap me. I just waited. It seemed like hours before I got too bored to wait any longer and fell asleep and that was when they finally raided.
"Ande," mom said as she was pulling open the curtains to let in a burst of sunlight. "We're going out to eat tonight and you're gonna like it." I groaned as Spencer walked in the room and picked me up off my bed. "This isn't fair." I whined.

Mom pushed into the bathroom and started up the bath and I did my best not to wiggle my way out of the uncomfortable way Spencer was holding me away from his body, as if I was some dying animal and not his paitent. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as they took the last bit of dignity I had from me and put me in the bath.

"I can take care of myself." I humphed as they poared water on my head. By this time Spencer had already left, probably embarrassed by seeing me naked. Don't worry, I was too. Mom basically treated me just like I was a child again but at this point, caring was beyond my abilities.

Being manhandled by my mom and my grandma wasn't as bad as you may think. I didn't have to do anything, which was the point of laying in bed all day and sleeping. My mom had no say on what I wore, how I did my hair, the way I did my nails. So, when I came out of the bathroom she kinda freaked on me. Grandma Della pushed her out of the room and made her calm down in the living room.

"Are you okay Ande?" Spencer came into the room and I did my best to wipe away the tears welling up in my eyes. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
I nodded and he sat down on his knees in front of me. "What is it?"
"Let me have my surgery already?"
"Ande...I'm afraid that something is going to happen..."
"Something is going to happen if I have to stay in this chair for another day longer!"
"What are you talking about?"

I bowed my head and a tear dripped down my nose.  He stared at me hard, trying to figure out what was wrong. He read the pain in my eyes, the hurt in the way I was talking and he seemed to figure out what was on my mind. "Have you been hurting yourself, Ande?"
I was suddenly ashamed of myself and what I had done. He grabbed my wrist and traced the white scars with his finger. "What were you thinking doing this?"
"I'm not sure, it just happened one day.  I was crying, I was all alone and all I wanted to do was die. I never wanted this kind of life for myself."

The look on his face was so full of anger that I thought he was about to reach up and slap me, but instead he pulled me into a hug. It was so tight that I thought I was being strangled. He lifted me up out of my chair and carried me into the living room. When mom asked what on earth was going on, Spencer simply said "We're going to the hospital."

Freedom comes with a price ~ Chapter 1

"Sometimes, it takes awhile for a person to learn how to be who they were before. Some times you have to completely reinvent yourself." Spencer stood beside me as I sat in my wheelchair. "You don't have to be anything that you don't want to be, Ande. I know how frustrating it is to really want something but can't have it, like you and the life you really want. You can't erase your past but you can rewrite your future."

I stared at the wall, I haven't really grasped yet that my legs wont work. Spencer says that there is a possibility of repairing the damage done to them, but he said we shouldn't count on that. The surgery would take hours and reminding my legs that they work would take weeks. And the chance that it would work is one in a thousand. Spencer just doesn't see why we would take that chance.

My mom keeps urging him to just do it, but he doesn't think she really knows the risk. She's been telling me that I can't live the rest of my life in a hospital room but I just push her out of my mind when I sit there in the dark. She tries to beg me to make Spencer do the surgery and continue the 100 baby challenge but ignoring her is easier than trying to tel her no.

When I finally gave in and went home, nobody was there. All the kids were gone and I had no clue where they were. I figured they were at moms but I couldn't be sure, with all the commotion going about these past few days, I didn't even think about making sure they were all okay. I'm such a terrible mother, it's a blessing in disguise that I can no longer have children. 

All I had was myself and hopefully, a few more hours of quiet. I called my dad and found out that the kids were at their house, so I grabbed my secret stash and wheeled myself outside into the dark. Smoking felt good. I just let myself go into the way the smoke fulled my lungs and then escaped through my mouth or nose. I have never smoked before in my life...But I liked it.

No matter how many times I called mom, she never sent the kids home. I threatened to wheel myself to her house but she told me "I'm not bringing these kids back to your house. You can't even take care of yourself, so how are you going to take care of five children? I'll make sure they all grow up and move out on their own."
That was the last straw. I couldn't deal with this woman anymore. "Mom, just because I quit your fucking challenge doesn't mean that I don't love my kids. You are a psycho bitch and maybe it's YOU that needs the therapy."  I hung up in a huff and sat back in my chair. I didn't think this day could get any worse...and I was right.

It only got better. Especially, when out of nowhere...Spencer comes bounding out of the elevator.
"Ande!" He scared the crap out of me and I jumped and fell off the couch.
"Good! You're here." He picked me up and sat me back on the couch, then took a seat across from me." I have awesome news." I looked at him, waiting. "Aph just gave birth to a baby girl. You'll never guess what she named her!"
I bit my lip and didn't even attempt to guess because 5 seconds later, he said "Iris."
This made me smile because (If you didn't know) my middle name is Iris and the fact that Spencer would come all this way to deliver this news when he could have just called my cell.

"She's adorable, ha-" his phone interrupted what he was about to say with a quick three note beep. He silently apologized and flipped open the phone. "Hey Ella, I'm on my way! I had to drop off a bit of news at a friend's. I'll be there in just a few minutes!"
He hung up and shoved his phone back in his pocket. "It was Ella, we're having dinner at her parents tonight and I'm a little scared. They're strict people."
"Good luck with that." I said, maybe a little too coolly, and he just looked at me.
"Ande, I want to do your surgery. I want you to be able to walk again...But maybe we should wait until you feel a little better..."
"Spencer, my mom took my kids away and I called her a psycho bitch. I have nothing left to say to anyone, even myself."

He bit his lip and grabbed my hand. "Okay, can you spend at least 3 weeks in this wheelchair? After 3 weeks of recovery, we'll do the surgery and just pray that it's successful. That will give you just a bit of time to think about everything and kinda get used to the chair if something goes wrong."
"And if something does go wrong?"
"I could possibly kill you, Ande. I really don't want to take that risk but if you want to...I'll get a team of surgeons together and we'll do it."

I didn't really say no but I didn't really say yes. He left on "Just think about it for awhile." and I did. I thought about it from that day on until I couldn't take to think about it anymore. I no longer cared about the risk. I wanted out of this prison chair.

Gen 3: And this is how it ends...

My story starts and ends the same way. With a tragedy. I'm not someone important or anything really to anyone. Even my kids don't need me most the time. People pretend that I'm important to them and I mean something, but as I lie in this bed alone, I realize how unimportant I really am to this world. 

You must be confused at why I'm saying this or what's going on. It really is kind of a sad story to end everything with. It was a normal day. I had aged the kids and needed to get some money out of the bank. So I left Nessie, Laura, and Rose in charge. I jumped in my car and drove to the bank where my little sister, Eden, works. She waved at me when I walked in but that's all I can really remember at that point.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in an empty room. I struggled to get up but managed to before realizing I was completely naked.  I tired to cover myself but nothing worked. I looked down at my body and instantly felt insecure. This isn't my body. I attempted to look at my naked back. The demon scars had to be there! But they weren't. I was instantly frantic because this body, free of scars, was beautiful and didn't belong to me.

"So, Ande, I see you've woken up. I've been waiting quite awhile." a man dressed in all white appeared before me in less than an instant. He grabbed my hands and held them in his.
"What happened?" My protective walls shot right up even though I was already naked in front of him. "What happened?"
"You protected your sister in that bank, Ande. You're paying the price for something that someone else did." He brought his hands out from behind his back and handed me a robe to slip over my body.
"I want to show you just what happened."

Instantly, I was back in the bank and the memories flooded into my mind. The fear and pain as that man grabbed my neck and held it too tight. Those eyes that I remember from all the days that I was locked in that basement, tortured and my spirit broken.
"It's Perry, isn't it?"
"Exactly right. Even if you didn't try to protect Eden, he would have known you anywhere. You had no way out of this either way, my dear."
The memory went on. Eden, behind the counter. Her hands were up but what he didn't realize was there was an earpiece in her ear. As he was screaming for all the money to be given to him, she quietly phoned the police.

"WHO CALLED THE FUCKING POLICE?" Perry screamed, squeezing my neck tighter as the sirens rang outside the bank doors. He didn't hesitate, the gun in his hand raised to my head and he was about to shoot. He whispered in my ear, something I don't remember but would still haunt me forever. The rest was such a blur, what had happened? Had he shot me and then got shot by the police?
The memory stopped again, the bank was filled with police. There was blood on the ground and a white blanket covered in blood over  what must have been a body. Was it mine?

"Who is that?" I asked, it was barley a whisper. My hands were shaking, my balance off. I turned to the man in white. "WHO IS IT?"
"It's you, Ande." My breath caught in my throat and he noticed. He shook his head and grabbed my hands. "It isn't real, I'm showing you what could have happened if Eden wouldn't have done what she did."
"What did she do?" Suddenly, the memory paused. The police man had lifted up the blanket and my own face looked at me. Cold, dead. I looked away, a cold feeling starting to overtake me. "Let me show  you..."

The memory changed again and I was there, being held by Perry. His face close to my ear. I looked away from the two of us and trained my eyes on Eden. She had a small gun in her hands, aiming. Even a bit off and she could kill me but she pulled the trigger right before Perry did. I crumpled in pain, his shot hit the middle of my back. Her shot, hit his heart and he was dead in an instant.

I was on the floor, withering in pain. An instant is all it took for everything to go wrong.

I woke in a hospital bed. I was all alone. The pain shot up my back from where the bullet hit me. It took milliseconds to understand that I would no longer walk. So, now I'm laying here all alone reflecting on my silly lot in life. I wasn't happy with my life anyway the way it was so why would I want it to go back to normal now?

I was curled up into a ball, whimpering, when Spencer came in the room. "You're not one to give up easy." I didn't look up at him. I just let the pain spread through my body in that fetal position. He sat next to the bed and sighed, looking through papers in his hand.
"Your spine is severed. It's possible that you could never walk again." He brushed my hair back from my forehead. "You're just attracted to trouble, and that's one thing that I can't really stand about you."

I rolled out on my back with a little yelp and even more pain but I was about to burst into tears in front of this man and that was one thing that I never wanted. But it was almost like I needed to. I needed someone to hold me and tell me that it was okay. I pressed my hands to my eyes in an attempt to keep my tears from starting up.
"Ande, please don't cry..." but it had already started and soon I was sobbing. "Oh god please.." he got up and sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my face into his shoulder. It didn't stop. The tears kept coming and he  kept stroking my back and I was having a full blown emotional breakdown right when my mom walked in the door.

"Oh...I'm sorry, did I come at a bad time?!" She froze in the doorway and Spencer let go of me and turned to her. "No, you're fine Mrs. Langly. I'll leave you two to talk..." He slipped out of the room and I could tell that I had made him emotional as well as I had made myself.
"Ande, Eden is a wreck...She thinks she's the one who hit you." Of course she would  be worried about Eden. "But there are more important things going on. Who's going to take care of you?"
"I'll take care of myself."
"Don't be stupid." I looked at her stunned. "You're paralyzed. You can't do this on your own Ande. You just can't."
"You don't know that."
"I know." And that's when something snapped and I started screaming. I wasn't saying anything, just screaming at the top of my lungs like a little child throwing a tantrum. Everyone rushed into the room and stared at me. Screaming, wailing.

"Now listen to me." I held eye contact with each of them. Mom, Dad, Spencer, Eden, Arley. "I want everyone to stop deciding my future for me. So I can't walk? So what? I'm good at being stubborn." They all stared at me. "I'm not stupid. I'm not delusional. Mom, I can't do your challenge anymore. I just can't. If I could walk, I wouldn't even think about it anymore. I'm broken emotionally and physically. Nothing you say to me anymore can convince me to ever have another child under the influence of that challenge." I looked at my hands and sighed. "I want to have a real life, for once."